waffles
So, it’s been more than two months since my last entry, but I don’t need to tell you that do I? You’ve faithfully checked this site every day, holding your breath hoping for something new and perhaps slightly amusing to fill a few moments of your day. Well, here it is.
I’ve just returned to Baghdad after a lovely two week hiatus with the 9fg. We had a splendid time with much feasting and sleeping. The feasting is worth pausing to consider based upon restaurant slogans: "The Gaucho way of preparing meat" and “Free Style Japanese Cuisine” and “Dip into something different” to name a few. I am fat and happy with thanks to the free style gaucho way of dipping into something different.
It takes nearly three days to travel to/from Baghdad. For security reasons, I won’t describe in great depth the logistics of these trips but I will say one portion includes military air over a desert, a flying baked potato, if you will. The only note worthy item from my travels is that the French stole my new bottle of cologne, all hair products, and deodorant. I separated with my well fragranced mementos, but not without a bit of frustration.
I arrived safely in Baghdad, tired but in tact. A person that travels over three days, particularly via complex military air movements, has a special look about them. Disheveled is the immediate word that comes to mind. But not disheveled in the i-just-woke-up-and-rolled-to-starbucks, it is a bit more pronounced. The most notable characteristic is the fierce wild daze in their eyes—it is a mix between wild boar and angry cat. The second most noticeable feature of this hypothetical person is that they have several bags hanging from their PPE (personal protective equipment) which does something to a person’s equilibrium. In fact, you can spot all newcomers by their leaning gate. So, we have a wild eyed, leaning, deaf (from the helicopter ride) and hungry person. I’m happy to report most of these symptoms have worn off (except for the crazy eye—I keep that to intimidate the marines).
I was welcomed by Howard. This is a picture of Howard.
Howard entered my hooch without an invitation and had a wild party and did a little bit of damage (a hole in the ceiling and a chipped floor). Naturally, this was a rather exciting welcome so I took Howard around and introduced him to my friends, one in particular said, “Hey! It’s nothing serious it’s [Howard] just celebratory fire!”

3 Comments:
Not cool Gesticulator. Not cool. Howard is my arch enemy. You keep him and his "celebratory" little buddies away from you and your hooch. Ya hear?
Love,
9FG
Here Here 9FG! HERE HERE! No, seriously, come back HERE! HERE! ;)
Howard SUCKS! Please inform Howie that he is required to celebrate in another direction, preferably at the enemy! We beg you to keep aforementioned personal protective gear close at hand, if not on your person, at all times - thank you very much! You have a 9FG and a blue horse to love, and not to forgot the children you (and 9FG) are going to create... dag-goneit!!
Okay, unsolicited lecture complete, please carry on with your most creative of gesticulating!
Loving and missing you from afar...
M.S.Tikulator
Safety Tip: Please keep hands and feet inside the hooch at all times, until it comes to a complete stop!
Ya know, when I was younger and much more naive, someone (that would be you) told me that I should start blogging. He said it was great, that all the cool kids were doing it, that my friends would laugh at me if they found out that I had never done it. And trusting the advice of the older and I thought wiser, I gave in. I started a blog! Then (OH I wish someone had warned me) after a few months the one who got me started on the blog was no where to be found, He Left! I was left all alone with a little blog. I tend to the little guy with all loving kindness but HE only shows up every few months with a picture and a few sentences. Alas.
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