April Showers

I’m suffering from a daylight savings hangover. The only benefit is that the dog, who wakes up precisely at 6:00 am every morning, now tip-toes (as gingerly as a Great Dane can) up the stairs at 7:00 a.m.

Much has happened in my three month vacation from the blogosphere. In truth, I had very little time to elicit creativity from my exhausted cerebellum. I have returned, not really rested, but willing to explore humor as my left eye twitches from fatigue.

9FG and I, as you know, live in the heart of the city. Being in the political epicenter of the known world has its pressures; primarily the pressure to be over-educated and over-worked. The most common question you’ll hear asked in every venue is “So, what do you do?” Which generally grants the asker the opportunity to say they are some executive policy maker with 6 degrees (all honors, of course)—pause here for them to answer an urgent blackberry message—and finish with a quiet explanation that the President needed something right away. I admit, the gesticulator has fallen victim to the ask-and-brag Washingtonian attitude. Having recognized the complete erosion of my vibrant personality to be king-of-the-hill, I’ve decided to take a different approach. The conversation will go something like this:

Yuppie #1: So, I explained to the POTUS’s (President of the United States—dratted acronyms) office, that there was simply no way that we could move forward with such shallow policy. We need to extend a hand to people, not just their pocket.

Yuppie #2: chortle. Chortle. Chortle. Well said, well said. So, what do you do?

Gesticulator: I make life sized dolls.

Yuppie #1: An entrepreneur! Is there a market for life-sized dolls in the area?

Yuppie #2: Sounds very interesting and lucrative; an interesting corner on the market.

Gesticulator: [Sensing their desire to overstate my occupation] I would never sell them! They’re my friends.

The yuppies slink away after commenting about the importance of following my dreams and their need for another drink/botox injection.